Every now and then our Stampin' Up! CEO, Shelli Gardner, hosts a teleconference where demonstrators can sign up to listen to her talk about the company. Tonight was such an event and it was wonderful. Typically it's Shelli and members of her corporate team sharing some news or explaining something. Tonight is the first time I recall a guest speaker (not an employee but someone outside the company). So much of what the guest speaker talked about can apply to so many different areas of life, especially in our economy where so many are out of work and people can feel blue. I took detailed notes and just typed them up. A lot is verbatim and some is my recollection where I've connected the points with my thoughts. I hope you can find something of value in this. The gal who spoke gave this to all of us for free. I think much of it is priceless right now. There was commentary by two demonstrators they invited to speak in the conference but I didn't include their comments as they were pretty much covered by the guest speaker. Here goes:

Shelli’s Teleconference May 19, 2009


My notes:


Shelli began by expanding on two points outside the purpose
of the teleconference:

  1. Backorders
  2. Looking
    for different ways to do things


Backorders – She’s heard comments that demos think that
backorders are a result of lower inventories because SU is not ordering as much
due to their T.R.I.M.(train, reduce and improve) philosophy. Shelli says that’s
untrue. Backorder issues are due to continued problems with the new computer
system and with suppliers.


Looking for different ways to do things – Feedback from
demos resulted in the “under $10” page in the current catalog. Also, the
shipping of complimentary catalogs was a result of prior catalog cycle
concerns. Feedback on that has been great so far. Because of this change,
though, info about the catalog transition is later than usual.


Guest speaker = Pat Pearson (author and psychotherapist) –
she was great by the way!


How do we create resiliency? Resiliency is defined as “the
ability to bounce back after something has knocked you on the head.” Something
has broken down. Downline has complained about something. Customer is upset.


Your energy and thoughts create success in your businesses.


We are trained on the product and business end of this
business but not on the psychology of it. The May 14 issue of “USA Today” had a
front page article encouraging signing up with a direct sales company (great
news for us!).


There are 4 cycles of change. They are predictable and
measurable. We know them, intuitively, when we are in them.


  1. “Go
    For It” – the honeymoon part, the fun part. The first 6-8 weeks of a new
    recruits tenure with SU. Ooze good feelings about SU to all who will
    listen. Excited. These honeymoon periods are repeatable.
  2. “Doldrums”
    – things slow down. We feel sabotaged. We make excuses rather than produce
    results. A frustrating period. People can be negative. Pull our hair out.
  3. “Cocooning”
    – We pull inside. What’s it all about? What is our purpose? Our grand
    plan? Why are we doing this anyway? We are assessing “am I in or am I
    out?” We choose to bail or stick it out. A number of people are ambivalent
    and that is a reflection of the times right now. If a demo decides to stay
    with the company, they move to #4.
  4. “Getting
    Ready” – This is the springtime after a long winter. Spring is here. The
    sun is shining. We begin to reconnect. We have a new energy. A surge of
    excitement and the cycle moves back into “Go For It” (#1).


Our business is a cycle. Life is cyclical. Life events throw
us out of “Go For It”. Child is struggling. Parent ill. Spouse unemployed,


All of us have different resiliencies and we attach
different meanings to being told “no”. The Myers-Briggs personality test groups
us into two big groups: feelers or thinkers. Feelers agonize over what he/she
did not do right. They personalize it when they do not get what they want. A
thinker is more immune to criticism or negativity. Women tend to ask “what did
I do wrong?” while men may ask “what is wrong with them?”. Men more resilient
to “no”. In our industry, 70% are feelers. We agonize over what we did not do


How do we help the feelers and ourselves? Every event
results in an interpretation. This interpretation of the event will create
feelings. If you say something is a reflection of me or say “hey, that is about
that person and his/her environment” then we take two different paths to
interpreting. The event plus the interpretation of the event equals our
feelings. A stamping scenario to fit might be that we, as upline or demos, do
not want to call so we are not rejected as if we can control those feelings of
others. Instead we enhance the negative feelings. It’s a cycle.


Take charge of interpretation of events. What you say to
yourself as to what the story is – is how we can control the interpretation and
how we can keep positive.


Any time you do not get what you want (a loss), you grieve.
It’s not just about death. “I didn’t recruit”, “I didn’t earn enough to earn
the cruise”, “I didn’t lose the weight I wanted to”, etc…


Six stages of the grieving process


  1. Denial
  2. Bargaining
    – you see yourself in grief and try to bargain your way out. Recruit not
    doing well and says she’s about to quit. You bargain with her to stay.
  3. Sadness
  4. Depression
    – in shock, deer in the headlights.
  5. Frustration
    and anger – short, put-out
  6. Resolution


Three steps to overcome grief or any one of the steps above:


  1. Accept
    what you feel
  2. Express
    it by talking about it or writing about it. If you do not talk about it,
    you begin to think and that thinking can become obsessive. If you don’t
    release, you cause yourself trauma.
  3. Release
    it. Let it go.


We cannot control what others do in this business (downline,
peers, customers).


Write a letter but do not send it. It’s very


A human response in these times is to worry and focus on
what is not happening. Instead focus on what is happening. Focus on the


This business is based on energy. If you’re sad or
depressed, your energy is off. You are selling the feeling inside so if the
feeling is off, your business will be off. Instead come to this from an
attitude of gratitude and happiness. That is completely sellable. Worry and
upset is not sellable.


Stop focusing on what you do not want (low recruiting or low
sales). Put more focus on it and create success.


Pivot (a very important term and idea) – intentionally turn
your energy positive


3 ways to do so:


  1. Craft
    self-statement – “I choose” to give the gift of my business and try to
    recruit. “I choose” to approach customers for a workshop. You have to
    believe it to sell it.
  2. Write
    three things you love about SU – why you joined. That is the position from
    which you give and that which was a gift to you. Achieve a connection to
    give value and purpose – a gift to another person.
  3. Feel
    good when you say it. You cannot reach your goals when they’re not


Take charge of thoughts and feelings to become resilient.


We’re all more alike than we’re different.